So this morning I'm in Downtown SF waiting for the Apple store to open, and I decide to walk over to Starbucks and get some coffee. The place is packed with the only people who are in Downtown SF on a Memorial Day: tourists. It takes me what feels like 10 minutes before I get to order, and when I go to get sugar there is a line there too.
Some guy is busily turning two $1.50 shots of espresso into, I think, $2.50 white chocolate mochas and so the rest of us are watching him work. He's mixing, he's sampling, he's measuring, he's saving $2.
When it's my turn to sugar my coffee I end up in the center position. People to my right and left are busily reaching for sticks and packets like yielding vultures picking at a carcass.
My needs are simple. I take two of the raw sugar packets, hold them together, tear the tops off in one motion, and then promptly pour them both into the trash-hole.
Oops.
Every so often I do this. Completely unintentional, but entirely weird--especially when there are people around watching me. It happens so rarely I forget that I even do it. This morning I think it was just due to not having coffee and being a little distracted by all the people snaking their hands around me to get stuff. My brain gets confused and some sugar goes into the trash.
This morning when it happened, everyone at the counter stopped doing what they were doing and just kind of stared at the trash hole. It felt like they were questioning either their own ideas on what to do with sugar (have they been wrong all this time?) or they were wondering if I was doing something entirely normal and they just weren't understanding it. With everyone paused, I immediately grabbed another two packets, I felt like I had to hurry and do what I was supposed to with sugar to sort of "right the tipping boat".
There seemed to be a little climactic tension as I tore open the two packets, "Would he do it again?" I could feel them all staring at me. But no, this time I dropped it in my sugar, quickly stirred it up and walked out as fast as I could.
Would have been better if you did it once more, then sugared properly. Keep the tourists on their toes.
Posted by: blurbomat | 05/29/2006 at 05:50 PM
When I'm tired I open a pack of sugar (in the raw), pour in half of it, throw the rest out and open a new pack. I can't explain it--maybe I'm trying to trick myself into thinking that I'm drinking coffee with two spoonfuls of sugar.
Posted by: Adriana | 05/29/2006 at 07:38 PM
One time I did it and nobody was near me but it was so funny that I started laughing out loud, immediately calling attention to myself as "crazy guy laughing when nobody is around him".
Posted by: Andre Torrez | 05/29/2006 at 07:45 PM
Oh god, today I was shaking my packets so I could tear the tops off and I DROPPED THEM BOTH IN THE TRASH.
Posted by: Andre Torrez | 05/30/2006 at 08:38 AM
*hums Def Leppard to self quietly*
Posted by: allaboutgeorge | 05/30/2006 at 01:24 PM
This reminds me of the desire I sometimes have (though it's not an urge I've really acted on) when someone is obviously coveting the last of something at a store. Say there's one slice of pizza or one donut left... I always want to buy it and then just sling it in the trash so they can't have it.
You know, just because I'm a nice guy.
Posted by: Anil | 05/30/2006 at 07:08 PM
Reminds me of Chevy Chase snorting salt and chucking tequila over his shoulder.
Posted by: Brian | 06/02/2006 at 02:14 PM